Lean into the masculine and get what you want!
Last month we shared tips on CV and cover letter writing – practical advice on ensuring you get noticed by employers and hiring managers.
In this March issue, I share some more practical advice around asking for the things you want or need at work and the ways in which we (as women and Mothers) need to lean more into masculine ways to build confidence and assertion into our careers and the things we want to achieve.
Grab a coffee and allow me to explain…
There’s a quote that reads something like “you are what you put out into the world.” Meaning, if you have a healthy, confident, and abundant mindset – you will attract only the good around you, vs an unhealthy, insecure and finite mindset repelling the very things you desire.
Generally speaking, women and women who then become mothers, naturally end up putting their family ahead of everything else. As leaders in our families, this means we often end up eating last!
As mothers, we can slowly end up sacrificing too much of ourselves and our careers as we lead our families. So, in looking at the family and traditional gender roles, we have a bit to learn from our male or more masculine partners. Learnings such as demanding more time and space, practicing assertion, being and acting confident, and using the right language and self-talk to get what we want.
Let’s frame this in the scenario of you asking your boss (or partner) to work differently to explain.
Know what you’re asking for
Be clear about the insights & experience-based evidence you’ve gained and what your new needs are at work (or at home). Then write them down so you’re prepared to share them with clarity and confidence.
Use clear and assertive language
Don’t apologise for having the conversation or using language that minimises you. Hold your ground. Cut out phrases like ‘Sorry to ask this …’ or ‘I just wanted to talk about…’
Be as clear and precise as you can when asking for what you want.
Instead of saying: “Sorry, but I just wanted to talk to you about maybe having more flexibility in my role”
Try: “I’ve loved being able to pick my children up from school. I’d like to talk to you about having more flexibility in my role, and for me, ideally, that means working a three-day week.”
Frame it as a trial
There are still many unknowns for employers, so it makes sense to propose any changes as a trial or experiment. You could say:
“Things have shifted since COVID-19. I’d like to try X for a period of a month and see how it goes. What would these changes mean for you and our team/organisation?”
Ensure your request aligns with the organisation’s (or your family’s) goals
If you think about your own needs in isolation from your employer or family goals, then your request may fall on deaf ears. Always think about how both sides can experience value or change for the better!
Adapted from: seek.co.nz/career-advice/article
After International Women’s Day on Monday this week (I shared a FB post here), it is ever apparent that women are choosing to challenge more of what makes our work/life juggle so hard. And there are many ways we can progress towards change to improve things. We can:
- Ask for better working conditions
- Ask for better home conditions
- #Choosetochallenge the status quo
- Lean into more masculine ways, while suggesting our partners lean into more feminine ways.
All of these things need to happen in tandem…so we can all achieve the balance we so crave!
Finally, I wanted to introduce a new section called The Client Corner. This section champions employer clients who have got behind RecruitMum and hired through our untapped community. This month I wanted to credit National Capital who hired a KiwiSaver Client Consultant through us last month.
Please show them some love and consider how National Capital could help you choose the right Kiwi Saver Fund while boosting your family’s savings! Click their logo below and see what KiwiSaver Fund might be the best for you and the future of your loved ones.
Till next time…you got this!